If your partner’s love language is affirmation of words, then there’s a good chance they’re into talking dirty during sex. So go ahead and tell them just how amazing they are and the intimate details of what their kisses do to your body and mind. Every time someone I know changes their relationship status on Facebook or has some overly adorable back and forth with their partner on Twitter or Instagram, a part of me dies. (And I’m a words of affirmation girl!) But then I have to take a breather and realize that for some such displays are absolutely necessary in them feeling loved. Announcing on Facebook just how amazing your partner is may not be as romantic as shouting it from a mountaintop, but it may be just what your partner needs.
“Speaking in someone’s love language shows them more directly how much you care for them,” adds relationship expert Dr. Lurve. If your partner’s primary love language is quality time, you need to not only set aside time for your partner, but also be intentional about how you are spending that time. People https://onlinedatingcritic.com/ whose love language is physical touch enjoy when their partners express affection for them in physical ways, such as hugs, kisses, and even just a hand on the shoulder. Buying a present for someone whose love language is receiving gifts might sound intimidating at first, but it’s actually quite simple.
There Are 5 Love Languages — Here’s How to Find Yours
There is an official quiz that can help people determine their love language and that can help their loved ones show that they care in the most effective way . The five love languages are quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and, of course, receiving gifts. A person who has gifts as their love language feels most loved when their partner gives them tangible items. According to Chapman’s love language theory, a love language is simply a person’s preferred way of receiving affection in a relationship. Gifts is one of the five love languages, alongside words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. Some people feel most loved when they’re receiving physical touch from their partner.
Just make sure to provide detailed information about your relationship, your favorite memories and all the sweet things you want your S.O. Of all the love languages, gift-giving and receiving is arguably the most often misconstrued. To some, it can seem greedy, or as if the recipient is fixated on things versus love itself. One of the greatest inventions of all time are Post-It Notes. If you don’t already have a gazillion Post-In Notes lying around like everyone else in the world, you can pop into the closest drug store or bodega and grab a pack for a few bucks. From there, it’s all about writing words of affirmation and love on each note and posting them around your partner’s home.
Welcome to the world of love languages, AKA your secret weapon to building all types of lasting relationships. Chances are you already know a thing about love languages thanks to a personality test or love quiz, but if not, you’ve come to the right place. When your partner is feeling insecure or going through a tough time, you can really show you care by simply being there and spending some quality time together. Even though you won’t be able to take all the discomfort away—nor should you be expected to—you will be able to demonstrate that you are present and available when they need you. If you don’t share the same love language as your partner, don’t be surprised if these efforts seem a little unnatural at first. With time and effort though, you will be doing these things for your partner without a second thought.
When Words of Affirmation Is Your Love Language:
Sex therapy can be effective for people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations. Connecting with a relationship counselor is another way to go. You might find it helpful to look into online counseling or in-person therapy.
Your love language, put simply, is how you express love and how you feel love. Some people choose to use words to get their point across, whereas others aren’t comfortable doing so. This is why understanding other people’s love languages can open up so much communication in a relationship like you may have never realized. With this information, I decided to take a long, hard look at myself. Out of 30 paired statements, I selected the ones which best reflected what is meaningful to me in a relationship.
The gifts should act as small reminders that your partner is always on your mind. The gifts love language describes people who show or feel love through giving or receiving a tangible item. When Dr. Chapman initially published his book, this love language was referred to as the receiving gifts love language. Since then, the term has spread to encompass gift-giving as well. That’s the principle behind the idea of love languages, an approach to relationships that’s gained steam in recent years as a means of understanding yourself, your partner, and the interactions between you. The acts of service love language describes someone who values their partner going out of their way to make their life easier.
The Quality Time Love Language and Your Relationship
If the partner with the words of affirmation love language feels that their S.O. Isn’t verbally expressing love and affection enough, or if the partner who needs quality time isn’t receiving that as much as they need, conflict and resentment can start to arise. From acts of service, receiving gifts and physical touch, to quality time and words of affirmation, we all instinctively express love in different ways. “Some people feel loved when they are giving or receiving gifts,” notes Tessina.
“This is an unfortunate belief held by many and is an over-simplified and judgmental way of understanding this specific style of expressing one’s love,” Guerra says. And again, Guerra says, this is likely something you learned early on in life (i.e. it’s just part of who you are). But loving a partner who craves quality time actually has very little to do with the amount of time you are together. Quality time is all about how you spend the time that you have together. No matter what you are doing, if you are attentive and focused, your partner will feel loved. Look for small ways to connect with your partner on a daily basis.
Believe it or not, physical touch love language gifts come in many forms. From luxuriously soft loungewear to lingerie that’ll lead you both to the bedroom, there are lots of creative ways to incorporate this love language into the gifts you buy for your sweetheart. In fact, there are even super-thoughtful physical touch gifts for couples in long-distance relationships. The gifts love language isn’t actually about money at all—it’s about the sentimentality behind the process of gift-giving.
Each necklace and bracelet is available in sterling silver or 18-karat gold. Take it a step further by adding an additional charm with your birth flower. It may also be helpful to have a conversation about money and the role it does or does not play in what gestures you appreciate. Williams explains that, in this sense, the true meaning of gift giving isn’t extravagance—it’s sentiment. A person with this love language might cherish the gift, however small, more than someone who speaks a different love language. Every time they see it, it serves as a reminder that they are loved.